I found myself a cheerleader.

Watching a 24 year old Ugandan Champion Halimah Nakaayi, scoop her biggest success so far as a gold medalist in the 800m at the 2019 World Athletics Championships filled me with so much joy not just for patriotic reasons but also motivational ones.

My emotional memory on victory is a faint one and it's for this reason that I'll share my thoughts. Have you ever wanted something so much, so bad and then time lapsed just before it landed in your hands? But it stayed so close like that shimmery yellow mango dangling low in a tree and a beat in your heart tells you, "....you could still get it." Then your hopes subtly die of hiccups.

The anxiety,  disappointment, anger, shame and sometimes depression just at the thought of never getting such an opportunity again or the fear that the same misfortune would invite itself again and you were inclined to feign fate. Most of our victories have died alongside our hopes

Eventually you make it, but all there is on your emotional mind is disappointment that you no longer have any feels left to celebrate your success. Running a race and winning it when all the cheerleaders have already laid their gear down can be a very draining victory. You forget to reward your efforts and celebrate the moment because probably it no longer means the same as it did during your earlier trials! But then it is in that moment that you realize that you have indeed run a good race, and made it till the end, regardless.

What you didn't notice is that "silent" voice in your heart, convincing your mind to withstand all waves around you, to keep moving on even when all your energies are gone.

What you didn't notice is that you became your own cheerleader. Inner celebration is a discipline and I don't mean this wave of parte after parte after parte! I mean that stamp on your chest that reminds you of all your failures hard enough to counter that with a shout of praise when victory finally arrives.

A pendulum oscillates in two direction with equal energies at equal speeds, one side should never frustrate the other. Let all your victories and failures increase your energy to grow, to increase your momentum and to make you a better person. Sometimes when the world around you goes to sleep, you have to encourage yourself to be that person you still dream about like David always did.