Mr.Google sir!!

It's been a long time coming but here we are my dear friend. Like so many other relationships, ours has not been an exception to the ups and downs. Initially it seemed like a one sided relationship with you offering me your services in exchange for just my consent. You availed yourself for me to search in whichever way I deemed fit as long as my pockets permitted so. 

You gave me a world without borders, a person without body, built my imagination beyond measure, turned my 4-walled room into a global village and before I could tell I was willingly offering you my world and turning my diary into a theater stage with pages turning like they were curtains rolling up for a fresh performance every single day just before crafting the darkest of my secrets into a museum.

Little did I know that every time I thought I was searching you, you were instead searching me. I thought I was signing on privacy policies but instead I was signing on surveillance policies. I thought I had the entire world to imagine and yet all you did was to tame my imagination, my conscience and my thoughts. You blindfolded me with a love bug I haven't been able to reciprocate and at the moment I fear I fell for all the traps you lured me into. 

You have walked after me faster than my shadow and in sync with my footprints.
You know all my friends and whatever they know about me more than I could ever imagine.
You know all my thoughts and also keep record of all the versions without any edit. It's painful to think of all the times you have watched me struggle to spell words like weird, entrepreneurship and you keep a record of such embarrassment I have caused my English teachers.

In my earlier wild google search, I found pictures I took a number of years ago, where i took them and with whom which left my gut demons unsettled. All my dirty linen was still intact from past relationships to all the memories I have struggled to forget overtime. Do you ever forget anything between us?

I beg to be forgotten however selective it maybe in this era where passwords, phone numbers, locations, health records, keys, personal data, etc are no longer for us to cram. I change my mind overtime yet not even auto-correct which seemed to help me turned out to work against my dynamics. Today I fear to hold conversations around you because I have realized that the walls you built between us have ears. They have eyes that don't just work like cameras but rather X-rays into my spirit. Worse still is that you have capitalized on this our relationship for so long and it's high time we revised the terms and conditions. Each time I look into your eyes hoping to find that love that first drew me in, all I see is surveillance. 

Am I just too paranoid?

I have been forced to wonder, where I would be if God kept records of all my shortcomings, waiting somewhere for that opportune moment to use it all against me, as well as going on to coerce people out there to side with him at my detriment whenever it is convenient for him. But God is love and love keeps no record of wrong.

Mr. Google Sir, I seek an opportunity for us to reconcile with each other.