Digital quagmire

Lately, I have been having an emotional cloud away from the crowd which resulted into a bit of mental constipation and eventually failure to process my thoughts into words. I tried reading my favourite books, daily articles as well as listening to various inspirational audios hoping these would jumpstart this writer's dying heart but none of these would help.

I knew I had so much on my mind to write about, but it just wouldn't crystallize into any of the words you see right here. My heart skipped a beat each time I realised, that one second grew into a minute, a day, a week and finally months just gazing at a digital blank page. I lost my breath to these writing hiccups. Was it my craving for perfection or the many distractions around me or fear or maybe just procrastination that weighed in heavy as what they call a writer’s block? Or maybe my emotional compass just lost direction.

Overtime, I thought to myself, why the pressure to perform? What's the worst that could happen and why exactly writing even just a page was so important to me? I guess it's never too late to re-evaluate our commitments without seeming like we are cracking up reasons to abscond. I must say, this has taught me to breathe, focus on my breath and from it, to draw the true meaning to life, lest I sink in this fast pacing world.

It's very easy to develop a routine and perceive it as a short-cut to a happy life; Or view commitments as though they carry an assurance of happy returns. Well this is true for many but only to an extent. In the wake of tragic news last week, I started to question what if today was my last day? Would my inability to bequeath any properties allow my words to constitute my will? Why is it that we feel assured that leaving our homes in the morning guarantees us a safe return, that going to sleep in the night automatically cracks us up alive for the next day. Viewing life with such big lenses gave me a sense of satisfaction in the now moments and I am truly grateful just for being alive right now. I hope you too are.

One question that lingers on my mind a lot since then is what if tomorrow you wake up with only the things you are thankful for today? These questions have truly unclogged my emotions that I am finally able to latch onto this platform again. Your case might be different, probably work starts to slack or relations suck; I hope life's grand questions of what should matter most keep you on your feet. You don’t have to wait for the fog to clear, take that step anyway.