To Whom It May Concern

Following my past blog, I get the impression that this fragile topic is of much more concern than I thought. Lots of amen were said in approval but a few colleagues put across some vital points which I intend to address first. For instance a one "Malaika" not the real name, reached out to me worried that washing our dirty linen in this virtual space could create mud to be slinged against us in the future, whether its in our immediate sects, work places or even political spheres. I totally agree without intending to shoot myself in the foot; there should be some kind of house-keeping.

It's great to know what to say but even greater to know when to say it and to whom it may concern. Much as we are talking about being authentic and emotionally expressive, we need wisdom and a deeper understanding of the audience.

Focusing on "specific events" such as heartbreaks, childhood memories, conflict, anxiety, depression, failure and trauma because that's what most people expected is not what matters.  The focus would rather be about your responses, your feelings beyond the incidents, the connections and relationships built; the links between the past and the present happenings to future projections.

Draw the bigger picture exploring the changes in the thoughts, behaviour and feelings. With this analeptic power of writing, carefully chosen words can ease pain both with the writer and consumer and the reverse is true. Remember that the tongue is a double edged sword and so much can be unravelled when pen meets paper. Don't set your own emotional trap.

Engaging in past pains may further hurt rather than heal us. We have seen victims of rape traumatised when summoned as witnesses confessing that they are living through such painful moments twice thereby compounding emotional issues. One needs to be very courageous and more adept at expressing and experiencing their emotions healthily. I have seen Joyce Meyer and Oprah Winfred talk about their bitter childhood but with grace and that you don't just build in a day, be patient with yourself.

I know that for most of us, about this time of the year, all the air smells like roses, but let's not pollute it with emotions we can not bear. Take time off to build that self-awareness, self-compassion and self-command as well as identifying the most appropriate medium of expression. However, there can always be channels of expression when one intends it to be therapeutic. Prayer, meditation and accountability partners have always been helpful to me. In other words call upon God before anyone else and He'll always see you through. Seek secondary help from "listeners" and like minded people with good intentions depending on a case by case.

Expressive writing may be a skill we need to interest ourselves with in order to have a positive society-building and yet authentic communication.
All in all, for whatever you write, ensure that if it were read to you 100 years later, it would still put a glow in your heart but also have the freedom to grow and change opinions.